ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
True love is choosing the same person every day.
They're choosing, daily, whether to mention your chewing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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