ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Age is just a number.
So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than your salary.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. Your overdraft found it first.…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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