ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every Monday you swear this week will be different.
You've sworn it nine hundred times. The week stopped listening.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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