ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your company will send flowers to your funeral.
They'll be charged to your department's budget.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- You spent £400 on an ergonomic chair. You sit on it like a frog.…
- Every great company started in a garage. Yours will end there too. The car's…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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