ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- The retirement age goes up a year every time you check. It's not a…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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