ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every parent has a favourite child.
It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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