ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
True love is choosing the same person every day.
They're choosing, daily, whether to mention your chewing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- The council listened to your feedback. Then it did the thing anyway, but with…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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