ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You left them on read "to be mysterious".
They didn't notice. They were also being mysterious. You're now two mysteries who will never speak again.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- Your partner says they'd be lost without you. They'd be lost for about eighteen…
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- The form needs a form. The second form is not currently available.
- You spent £400 on an ergonomic chair. You sit on it like a frog.…
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- Limited-time event. Will not return. Neither will your Saturday.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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