ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "chronically online".
Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have a loading icon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
- You can't take money with you when you go. Your direct debits, however, will…
- Start the week strong. Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a…
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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