ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- Your therapist said set boundaries. You set one. Then texted them at 2 a.m.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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