ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment.
The candles are outnumbering the years you've got left.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
- Not all who wander are lost. You are. The map gave up.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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