ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You "don't do small talk".
You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails or replying. You do "vibes", and nobody can invoice those.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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