ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing.
When you leave, someone will fight over the plant.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
- Your complaint has been escalated. It is now ignored by someone more senior.
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- You spent £400 on an ergonomic chair. You sit on it like a frog.…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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