ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- Every summit sends a very strong signal. The planet keeps not receiving it.
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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