ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 22 JUNE 1976
You hyped your mate's mixtape.
You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including your mate.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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