ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You got a houseplant to "take care of something".
It died. Even the plant had better boundaries than you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- You are a valued member of the team. So was the last person in…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- Till death do us part. Not a vow. A fixed-term contract with an unspecified…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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