ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Treat yourself, they said.
You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every one.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- Wildflowering means letting the relationship grow naturally, with no timeline. It has the growth…
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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