ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
- Your backlog is a library of things you were going to enjoy. It is…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- The form needs a form. The second form is not currently available.
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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