ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Opposites attract.
Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the other finally sets it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- Till death do us part. Not a vow. A fixed-term contract with an unspecified…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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