ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "in your villain era".
You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times. Villains have done less damage at a christening.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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