ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You've been "about to start the gym" since January.
It's October. The gym has had two owners and a refurb in the time you've been about to.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- You can't take money with you when you go. Your direct debits, however, will…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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