ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Monday motivation is a myth.
Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave, or your retirement.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- You call it "quiet quitting". Your manager calls it "the same as before". Nobody…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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