ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- Your business plan has three phases: launch, pivot, and letting the domain quietly expire.
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- The council listened to your feedback. Then it did the thing anyway, but with…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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