ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "chronically online".
Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have a loading icon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
One quote. Every morning. Delivered before coffee, when you are weakest and the day has not yet had the chance to disappoint you itself.
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