ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "taking a social media break".
You announced it on social media. Twice. With a carousel.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Limited-time event. Will not return. Neither will your Saturday.
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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