ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought.
It renews automatically. So does the guilt.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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