ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness journey started on the second of January.
It ended on the fourth. The trainers still have the tags on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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