ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year.
Nobody noticed you were gone.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- You've got a side hustle, a passion project and a podcast. Combined monthly income:…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- Nobody notices when you do your job well. Everyone notices when you leave at…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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