ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Growing old is mandatory.
Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later. Nothing happened.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question". Zack has…
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- Your complaint has been escalated. It is now ignored by someone more senior.
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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