ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark.
There wasn't. She knew in four minutes. You paid for both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- The form needs a form. The second form is not currently available.
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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