ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought.
It renews automatically. So does the guilt.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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