ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“Too close to call” means nobody knows.
It is said by people paid a lot to know.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Step outside your comfort zone. It's raining out there, everything costs more, and nobody…
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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