ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 28 MARCH 1992
You manifested your dream job.
The universe received the request, checked your CV and moved you to spam.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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