ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought.
It renews automatically. So does the guilt.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- Hard work pays off eventually. It's paying off right now. Your boss just bought…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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