ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Abs are made in the kitchen.
So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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