ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- There's no I in team. There are two in "invoice still unpaid". And one…
- Lessons will be learned. By whom, and when, will also be learned. Eventually. Possibly.
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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