ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Your company's core values are printed on the wall. So nobody has to have…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- Strangers online have voted you "not wrong". The same strangers once voted to give…
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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