ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle.
The kettle will outlast the excitement. Possibly you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question". Zack has…
- Hard work pays off eventually. It's paying off right now. Your boss just bought…
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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