ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
WEDNESDAY, 25 SEPTEMBER 1996
Listen to your body.
It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been asking for eleven years.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- You spent £400 on an ergonomic chair. You sit on it like a frog.…
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- Your therapist said set boundaries. You set one. Then texted them at 2 a.m.…
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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