ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The return to office is completely optional.
So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet there you are, ranked 41st. They're "reviewing" 41st.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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