ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone.
Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do Not Answer".
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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