ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands.
It will be the most productive minute of the quarter.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Scale your business. Currently it's you, a laptop, and your mum, who bought one…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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