ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
- You bought 41 games in the Steam sale. You will play two. The other…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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