ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
FRIDAY, 17 SEPTEMBER 1999
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- You put "open to work" on LinkedIn. Six recruiters viewed your profile. Five were…
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- There's no I in team. There are two in "invoice still unpaid". And one…
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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