ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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