ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime.
They said that last time. Your lifetime is very important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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