ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212.
The game hasn't been fun since day 30. The streak doesn't care.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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