ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
THURSDAY, 9 MARCH 2000
You "don't believe in labels".
You believe in being kept as an option.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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