ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing.
When you leave, someone will fight over the plant.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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