ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 25 MARCH 2000
You pre-ordered it for the cape.
The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- Wildflowering means letting the relationship grow naturally, with no timeline. It has the growth…
- The award show ran four hours. The only winner was the advert break.
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- Your startup is a chatbot that tells customers they're right. Investors loved it. The…
- Your inbox reached zero once. The server was down. You were briefly free and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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